Score

although Murphy was right. As everyone predicted, as soon as I troubled my boss to resend the documents that had been lost and she had to interrupt the country-wide two-week shutdown for me, something in the mail got un-lost. I go my work-permit yesterday. Yay. No idea what happened to my invitation letter, but that has somehow been provided for, as well.
the intercession has come through.

assured!

I can be comfortably certain of one thing, this is never going to be comfortably certain. I think I've known this for years and years, but the longing is so strong for security, that we want it more than we believe in it. There will always be something horribly wrong, or much more complicated than necessary, or in some way stressful.
Being calm and trusting the only trustworthy person is actually not that hard, when you ask for better trust, what's actually hard is doing it without looking glaringly irresponsible and in-denial of all reality.

scramble ramble damble

What's the worst that could happen? My documents that I need could arrive on Saturday morning, too late for me to send them to Chicago, and I have to go to Chicago by myself. Erg.
Actually it could be much worse. My visa could be rejected entirely.
but if I'm meant to be there, he'll get me there. I can only be faithful in continuing to do the work I need to do. The great thing about running errands is that you see people you know and that's always fun. It's actually exciting to have so much to run around and get done in the next four days.

Peace, world.

Tortillavision

When children are sick, they get to watch more T.V. Or they can make a T.V. out of a tortilla box and the non-ill ones can have a show.

The little explorer discovered a DVD of 180 very old cartoons. Some were actual classics and one was my all-time favorite, one of the pillars of my childhood. Can you identify it without looking at my facebook status?

More cuteness.

dedicated to Jodi....
*everything is lo-o-ost...oh o-o-oh*
but you know that you can take it to the L...
I promise if people keep reading my blog, I'll keep taking cute pictures to post. So there, read my blog.

Focus on the Good

Urbana had some painful good things and some not so painful good things. I got engaged. I was encouraged by seeing people I missed and connected with.
Reentry is not fun. The experience we go through often feels like responsibly putting a book in the bottom level of a very tall bookshelf when suddenly, the whole thing breaks, showering you with monster leather volumes and the whole oak case, itself. Sometime it feels like carrying a mass of bags that after much careful organization, each rip open just as you finish cleaning up the last spill.

Sometimes it feels like being one of the sheets of metal in the how-a-tuba-is-made video and you're getting pounded and pounded.

I'm returning to the stressful world that comes after Urbana. It's cold, it's tempting and I feel really bad today. I feel once again as thought my walk toward the Boss consists of one painful process after another.