(I promise it's not me)Suspend all reactions until after you read the captions. I really like this picture but it requires a mess load of explanation.
I have a good twin. (get it, hahaha, not really)
And she has been married to this man of average height for almost two years. And the day I return from China (July 1) is the day their daughter is expected to be born.
I found out about the kid in January.
So anyway, my sense of humor and my ability to write articulately or even coherently are all considerably off kilter to the the discovery that our mother has just found out about her first granddaughter. To understand the situation fully requires understanding what kind of family this is. To put is simply and nicely, our mother is really not well, (there are mental and emotional issues involved) . We've been on our own since we were seventeen or eighteen. So for me, it's really hard to even work towards any remotely healthy relationships with my biological parents, or even to connect them in any way to my life. Thus, I didn't want my mom to find out she was a gramma. I didn't think she deserved to know or to have that sense of pride, power or accomplishment. I feel a serious resentment about everything she's going to think or say about it. What I honestly (and evilly enough) feel is that a woman like my mom isn't fit to have grandchildren. The awareness of that thought has helped me realize a lot of things. This all happened in the past two hours, so it's like being a hit by a car and still feeling dizzy. By tomorrow I will feel more steady.
1 comment:
thinkin of you during this time.. it's all in his hands, not ours!
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